The Silence of One's Soul
by Evidence
Summary: Sequel to "Stressed" and response to YTDaW element challenge that finds Sara dealing with something and Griss at her side.


Title: The Silence of One's Soul  
  
Author: Evidence  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Author's Notes: This is a sequel to "Stressed"- Zen's first challenge. It is also a response to her second challenge over at YTDaW. Many thanks to her. The elements are as follows: An isolated dirt road, A demagnetized hotel key, A glass eye ,"I don't have any regrets. Doubts about what I've done, but no regrets.", A broken pager.

The silence of the dark night was eerie. The moon was barely visible hiding behind some clouds in the sky. The animals that lived in this section of forest were silent as well as if they knew she needed to be alone with her thoughts. She was curled up on top of the hood of her SUV, not worrying if she made a bent or scratched the paint getting off. A stadium style yellow blanket was covering her arms and legs and she fully intended to stay out there all night. She wasn't afraid of the woods, of the dark. Another fear was propelling her to get away from the bright lights of Las Vegas.  
  
Time passed slowly with no watch to look at and sleep didn't come quickly. Soon though she finally fell asleep alone with her thoughts,  
  
Daybreak arose and her eyes reopened. Dew wetted her hair and the blanket. Her body sore from its uncomfortable position and strained as she tried to move it. With some effort she lifted herself into a sitting position and stretched slowly. Her muscles ached like she was on fire but she felt some inner peace from her stay in the woods.  
  
She heard the distance sound of an engine, surprising to her out in the woods. She had purposely chosen this area, this spot as a refuge from the thoughts in her head and the people eager to help. She needed time alone to think and reconnect with nature. And now someone was driving alone the dirt road she was parked on and would come across her.  
  
Peace and tranquility only lasted for a short time, Sara thought and finally got off the slightly dented SUV hood. She threw the blanket in the car and got in herself so that the passerby wouldn't question what she was doing out there.  
  
Through the side window she saw the other vehicle approaching, an SUV just like her own and as it pulled to a stop next to her she groaned internally.  
  
He was out of the Tahoe in a flash leaving his driver side door open and running over to her vehicle. "Sara!" He yelled as if she were far away.  
  
Her fingers fumbled on the door handle as she slowly got out.  
  
He reached her now pausing to gain his breath, his hand touching her shoulder. "I'm glad you're alright, when you disappeared I thought..." He stopped unable to get the rest of his thoughts out.  
  
"I'm fine, Grissom," she replied but could see he didn't believe it.  
  
"Did your Tahoe stall?" He asked glancing over at the SUV.  
  
"No, she replied, "I came out here purposely to be alone."  
  
"Sara, what were you thinking? This road is so isolated, anything could happen to you."  
  
"I know all of you mean well but I needed time alone. The surgery is happening to me today not anyone else."  
  
He removed his hand from her shoulder. "It affects everyone who cares about you." He had made what to him was a huge admission but she seemed to not realize it.  
  
"I really am fine, I just need to wash up before I have to go to the hospital. How did you find me anyway?"  
  
Grissom pushed back his glasses. "Every city issued Tahoe comes with a GPS tracking device in case of emergency. When you weren't at your apartment late last night I got worried and tracked your location."  
  
"You were at my apartment last night?" Sara asked watching him blush.  
  
"Yes...I thought...I...anyways that's when I noticed you weren't home and grew concerned."  
  
"Thank you for the concern." She truly meant it- Gil Grissom wasn't the type of person that showed his concern and since her fateful doctor's appointment he had been there for her every step of the way.  
  
"I passed a hotel on the way here. I have an idea why don't we head there and you can clean up before heading to that doctor's appointment," Grissom shifted on his feet as if he were uncomfortable.  
  
"That sounds like a good plan," Sara responded.  
  
She followed behind him in her own vehicle once in a while feeling a wave of hunger but she was forbidden to eat until the procedure was over. Everyone who knew what was happening had told her that as long as it wasn't something deadly that she shouldn't be upset about it. Even Catherine who talked about motherhood constantly shrugged it off as no big deal compared to hearing the dreaded C word from the doctor. But for Sara it was a big deal.  
  
The Montecello Hotel was basked in rich red tones and a swanky front entrance that appeared like entering a foreign land. Grissom went to the front desk paying for the room even though she was only going to use it for an hour or so. He had insisted though. It was not only a nice gesture on his part but an expensive present that left Sara with the first warm feeling inside since making her decision about the surgery.  
  
They rode in the elevator to the 5th floor in silence but as they excited Sara briefly touched Grissom's hand. She didn't need any words, her eyes showed her thankfulness.  
  
Grissom slipped the hotel key down through the socket but no green light showed. "That's odd," he said, "It appears this key is demagnetized."  
  
"Great!" Sara said her emotions at the crux.  
  
"I'm sorry," Grissom said shaking his head. "It's like the Tudlow story come to life."  
  
"Tudlow story?"  
  
Grissom nodded. "Jake Tudlow had a glass eye. He lost his eye in World War II but that's another story for another time. Anyways Tudlow goes to this conference on how to deal with blindness- partial or full. At the conference this other man bangs into him the eye gets loosened and falls out. Tudlow goes around trying to find his eye. In the process he breaks three fingers, sprains his ankle and injures his other eye."  
  
"Does this have a happy ending?" Sara asked.  
  
Grissom contemplated that for a moment. "Eventually he did find the eye...though it was shattered."  
  
Sara sighed.  
  
"Anyways my point is this isn't turning out how I expected."  
  
"Life doesn't turn out how one expects." Tear began forming in her eyes.  
  
"Oh Sara..."  
  
"I'm fine," she lied.  
  
"No you're not. You're not dying, it's an operation so that you won't have any other future concerns." Grissom turned her so that she was facing him. "I understand it's upsetting but you will be okay."  
  
"I don't have any regrets. Doubts about what I've done, but no regrets."  
  
Grissom looked closely at her. "What are you saying?"  
  
"I don't have any regrets," Sara repeated.  
  
Grissom understood. "No you do have a regret, you regret that you haven't had a child before this time."  
  
The tears came out in sobs. She slipped her arms around him, her head to his shoulder. "Yes" she said quietly, "and now I'll never have any."  
  
He held her tightly trying to soothe her with comforting words. The pager on his belt went off. With a quick look he saw LAB- ASAP. He paused for a second and then threw it. It hit the wall smashing into pieces. He had somewhere else he had to be- with Sara.  
  
The end. 


End file.
